‘Alone’: Surviving the Wilderness with Reality TV!

As we prep for the next stage of the apocalypse, Alone Season 6 provides extreme, yet insightful tips and skills to survive . . . in the wilderness!

Could you imagine being dropped off in the middle of the wilderness and having to survive on your skills, ingenuity, and tools for about 2 months?

Maybe you can and maybe that sounds refreshing after living under lockdown since March.

But it’s also the premise of the History Channel’s Alone reality series, which you can safely enjoy from the comfort of your couch in a climate-controlled environment with snacks!

In watching Season 6, in which 10 contestants with 10 survival items try to outlast each other for $500,000, it brought to mind how many survival skills most of us urban-dwellers actually possess.

For instance, can you answer the age old question: what do you do when you see a bear?

A) Make yourself look as big as possible to scare him off?

B) Frantically scramble up a tree?

C) Best play dead?

D) Distract him with a pot of honey?

As tempting as D is, the correct answer is A (which probably many of you knew).

Just be sure to avoid poking the bear, but do be neighborly and give a friendly wave!

The Stakes Are Rising

If the current pandemic ratchets up, we might next find ourselves in the zombie apocalypse and need to survive in a world without electricity and well-stocked grocery stores.

Living in the wilderness it is! Thank goodness The Walking Dead has given us tons of survival pointers over the years!

Always carry your trusty Polaroid camera to savor the memories.

There are also ingenious survival tips from the magazine, “Real World Survivor,” like how to get water from a tree.

Sunlight forces the water stored in leaves to evaporate, and this evaporation can be captured by a plastic bag wrapped around the leaves. Never go thirsty again!

You can also survive the cold by stuffing your clothing with newspaper, leaves, or dry grass (or a fluffy owl!). Keep that body heat in!

Lastly, always bring a poncho! It doubles as a shelter for one or a handy water collector!

Alone in the Arctic Circle

It’s one thing to read about survival tips, but it’s another to watch people use these techniques to survive in the harshest environments.

Fun Fact: it’s entertaining and life-saving!

Alone’s contestants show us how the pros do it . . . in the epically cold Arctic Circle no less.

There are so many interesting points about this show!

#1: Can you imagine getting excited about having a squirrel for breakfast?

#2: Where did these survivalists learn how to craft mini-log cabins and sweet bed frames with a handsaw and hatchet?

Clearly, expert carpentry skills also required for survival.

#3: How do these contestants know how to craft a fishing net? And then catch fish under 12 inches of ice?!

No such luck here.

#4: These survivalists are skilled cinematographers, lugging around a camera on a tripod while their bodies cannibalize their muscle tissue to stay alive.

#5: As a viewer, it becomes difficult to watch contestants endure physical and mental anguish due to prolonged starvation from Episode 3 on (more difficult for them, of course).

#6: A word of advice: don’t eat dinner or even a snack during this show. You get closeups of parasites and moose stomach punctures that are something else.

#7: There’s zero fiber in all that squirrel, rabbit, pike, wolverine, and 50 pounds of moose meat. That cannot do the body good!

#8: Although who knew that moss had so much fiber?

Oops . . . wrong Moss.

#9: Many of the contestants were in such good spirits even when critters were absconding with their limited food supply.

How were they never hangry?!

#10: With reality television filmed in the remote wilderness, the confession room is everywhere!

We get to hear the contestants’ deepest, soul-baring thoughts and feelings around the clock, straight from the horse’s mouth!

#11: I don’t know the exact rules of the competition, but if you find yourself hopping on a plane to meet the Alone production crew bring with you tubs of lard (not all the moose meat in the world will apparently prevent starvation), multi-vitamins, and a “Wilson” volleyball as a companion to stave off the crushing loneliness.

WARNING: This loyal companion may never leave your side, like ever.

Prepped for Every Scenario, 2020!

This year has been about as predictable as Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, so you never know what’s coming next!

We’ve been living in survival mode already, yet it couldn’t hurt to add a few extra skills to our fanny packs thanks to Alone!

No matter what, wilderness survival skills could come in handy someday, whether we’re out hiking the trails or stranded at the mall.

Lastly, Happy Father’s Day to all our amazing dads, including my own and my brother-in-law, who taught us so many valuable skills!

How are you celebrating the Day?


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