Pet Your Cares Away!: The Bountiful Benefits of Dog Ownership

All the known and lesser known benefits of dog ownership provide proof that dogs truly are humans’ best friend, especially during the apocalypse!

As we continue this interminably long, winding journey to the end of the world (as we know it), we have a new ally: our beloved canines!

You may have heard how the University of Pennsylvania is training Labradors to detect the scent of COVID-19 in asymptomatic carriers.

These friendly faces will be deployed at hospitals, airports, businesses, and beyond to help prevent a COVID re-emergence, depending on how quickly our paw patrol can be built up.

Here’s to hoping they also train Saint Bernards to conduct these search and rescue operations.

Get a tasty drink from their stylish and functional brandy barrels and catch a ride to your personal quarantine quarters, saving all from peril!

Hmmm . . . something is off . . . no brandy barrel.


And you’ve definitely heard the happy news that many animal shelters have quickly emptied thanks to a whopping uptick in adoptions and foster applications nationwide!

Apparently, some folks had the foresight to stave off the loneliness and depression that our self-isolating lifestyle would inflict by signing up at the apocalypse’s kick-off.

But it’s not too late! There are still many pets available through virtual adoption events happening now!

The Healing Power of Paws

Therapy dogs have been working in hospitals and nursing homes for eons, providing stress and anxiety relief at a less expensive hourly rate than “therapy humans”, only according to rumor though (we still love our cherished mental health professionals!).

The CDC and WebMD lay out all the benefits of dog ownership (actually, these apply to pets of all stripes):

  • Lower blood pressure
  • Lower cholesterol
  • Lower triglyceride levels (linked to heart health and stroke avoidance)
  • Elevated serotonin and dopamine levels
  • Strengthened immune system functioning
  • Lower rates of pet allergies and eczemain babies exposed to the dirt dogs carry and allergens

Their companionship also gets us outdoors for exercise, which is critical to good health!

And you’re off like a flash!

The Fringe Benefits Abound!

In addition to all of the above-mentioned health benefits, there are countless lesser known ones that come with a furry side-kick!

#1: Have a best friend wherever you go, attached at the hip!

Until the jealous elevator doors swiftly pry you apart.

#2: Never dine alone again.

#3: Have 24-7 access to a therapist, who hangs on your every word and never divulges your deepest secrets (for the small hourly fee of adoption costs and vet visits, of course).

#4: Dogs are the gateway to a “Love Connection” for us single people!

They ease people out of isolation (literally these days) and/or shyness with canine-centered small talk. And who knows where that could lead? Meet someone else special (as in a human)!

#5: Enjoy road trips with a little buddy!

WARNING: Driver’s license not included with driver.

#6: Have someone to keep the rogue cat in check.

#7: Work out with your new personal trainer and cancel your gym membership today!

Humans don’t always follow very clear demonstrations well.

#8: At long last, learn how to tame that unruly exercise ball!

#9: Get massages together!

#10: Not only does Rex fetch your newspaper, he’ll happily do all your household chores without a gripe! Save a bundle on lawn care services.

#11: Never worry about an intruder or cat burglar again with your dedicated guard dog on the job!

#12: Become a busy bee with your new hive!

#13: When you can’t figure out your little one’s new toy, a skilled instructor arrives in the nick of time!

#14: Never attend another pesky Zoom meeting for work again. Your canine has got you covered!

She might even set up your new website while she’s at it.

#15: Never take another annoying call from your boss again, demanding to know why the dog just attended the Zoom meeting in your place.

#16: Have someone to appreciate your cooking and homemade birthday cakes for once!

#17: Master the art of picking up chicks like a cool rock-star.

#18: Become a pool shark!

#19: Learn how to apply makeup from an in-house expert!

#20: So self-sufficient—she even bathes herself!

#21: At long last, have an enthusiastic friend to play catch with!

#22: Get someone to finally take your chimp out for a jog!

#23: Take your new sled dog out for some high action mushing!

#24: Have someone to always laugh at your jokes no matter how painful they are.

#25: She will always keep a watchful eye out for any shenanigans in the neighborhood.

#26: Count on your intrepid best friend to always come to your rescue when you fall down a well!

Hello, 911. We need a rescue team to save the rescue team.

It’s a Live-streamed Animal Planet

If you don’t have a pet or the ability to get one, stat, you can count on everything virtual these days.

Introducing live-streamed animals galore at!

We’ve got your puppies coming right up!

Oh, you’re not much of a dog person and prefer pouncing kittens, you say? Absolutely!

Maybe a roly-poly panda brawl is more your scene? Ask and it is given.

Interested in spotting the wildlife at a popular Kenyan drinking spot? Done and done.

Gorillas in the mist? You got it.

Soothing underwater scenes and meditation music? That, too!

You need ligers saddled atop unicorns? I’ll have to get back to you on that.

Dogs: The Ultimate Givers

We now officially have proof that dogs are humankind’s best friend.

They love us unconditionally, teach us invaluable lessons, eagerly complete our “To Do” lists, and comply with our endless requests of silly tricks for treats. They really are the greatest teachers.

For all that they do and give, the biggest mystery of all is: how do they put up with us?

All the treats and hardy belly rubs must help beyond belief! 🙂


PS Speaking of teachers, Happy Teacher Appreciation Week to all our hard-working and devoted educators (including my sister!), particularly during these unfathomably trying times!

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